II Corinthians 6:17, “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.”

I Corinthians 15:33-34, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.”

When we talk about the relationships we choose and God’s view of who (and who we shouldn’t) befriend, marry, or associate with, people usually turn to this passage. The ASV renders verse 33 of I Cor. 15 as “corrupts good morals” instead of the term manners. And the message is quite simple – be careful about who you associate with. Why? Because they typically have a direct effect on your morals, your beliefs, and even your way of thinking. People may scoff at the idea (perhaps even mock it), but history has proven this pattern is true. Bad influences do in fact corrupt good morals or manners.

Our close relationships eventually do one of two (2) things in our lives. One, they can build us up and bring us closer to living by the truth or two, bring us down and further away from a righteous life. And that’s a question we’re all faced with answering when we make the choice of who we spend our time with. The fact of the matter is, we’re either affected, or we’re the ones affecting someone else.

Heb. 10:23-24, “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:”

There are three (3) critical relationships in our lives that we should always be mindful of in striving to follow the pattern and teachings of the New Testament.

1) In our earthly or worldly friendships. It has long been implied that Christians are “in the world and not of the world”. And while this exact phrase cannot be found in New Testament scripture, we understand the concept and implication from reading passages like John 15:18-19. Perhaps the greatest trick Satan plays on our minds is that since we are all people (we are all human), we should act alike, talk alike, and BE alike. And for the most part, people try to live their lives by this philosophy. But that just isn’t what God commanded.

II Cor. 6:17 again says to come out from among THEM! Yet a lot of us would never consider our school or work friends as “them”. It’s hard to imagine your relatives or even family members as “them”, people we care deeply about. But if they’re non-believers, that’s exactly who they are. This verse also applies to those who have left the truth though (as Paul wrote about earlier in I Cor. 15). In reality, you could define “them” as anyone failing to live a righteous life of obedience to the gospel and God’s commands.

Proverbs 24:1 says, “Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them.”

Rarely is it the murderer or thief we try to befriend – they are easy to separate ourselves from. I doubt any true believer considers these types of people as “friends” or even acquaintances. Instead, it’s “good people” (by the world’s standards) we sometimes befriend who fail to obey God’s commands and live any way they choose. And sadly, yes, it’s sometimes even our own family members or former Christians who turned their back on God that gradually lead us away from the truth.

We all have to sit back and evaluate our relationships with friends and ask, “what affect are we having on the lives around us?” And we should be honest enough with ourselves to realize if we are rubbing off on them, or are they rubbing off on us?

2) In the relationships we have with brothers and sisters in Christ.  

Again, I Cor. 15 says it best when Paul warns us to be careful (even in the Lord’s Church) of those we choose to have a close relationship with.

Jesus warned that men would come around to deceive and lead Christians away in Matthew 24:11. In Matt. 7:15 he described them as wolves in sheep’s clothing. Paul’s writings were consistent with this thought, so much so that the same language was used in Acts 20:29 when he warned that after his departure, grievous wolves would enter, not sparing the flock.

Of your OWN selves he says, men will rise up and speak perverse things; that’s things against the pattern we follow, against what we can find written in God’s word. We don’t have to be around too long to see that still occur today; the Word is exactly right. Peter also wrote about false teachers, ”coming also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you” (II Peter 2:1-2).

Just look at all the places in the NT where we’re warned about our own brethren turning away from the true gospel to spread their own thoughts; their own thoughts or doctrine. We shouldn’t be foolish enough to believe every congregation in those times calling themselves a Church of Christ was acceptable to God, just as all those who wear the name today are worshipping as God would have them to.

Entire congregations have been led into error when members choose a false-teacher as a close friend and trusted adviser. But in turn, many non-believers and sometimes nominal Christians are led closer to the truth by attaching themselves closely with dedicated members of the Lord’s church, seeking to follow the gospel truth as it was delivered. Because the human emotion can be swayed so easily, it’s critical we make our choice wisely.

3) In the marriage relationship we choose.

Genesis 2:18, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Verse 24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Despite cultural traditions or changes in society (from the beginning of time), God’s plan for marriage included one man and one woman. They become one flesh for the remainder of their lives together. The term “help meet” in Gen. 2:18 means exactly what it sounds like…one who helps. And while a wife is to be submissive, helping her husband, Ephesians chapter 5 commands that husbands love, cherish, and honor their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (Eph. 5:23-28).

Marriage trumps any other earthly relationships we could have with someone. Besides our commitment to obey and follow God, it’s the greatest decision we’ll ever make. Our text in II Cor. 6:17 again commands that we come out from among them and be a separate people. But you’ll remember just a few verses back; Paul delivers this message in verse 14; “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

Despite what anyone may say otherwise, Paul is talking about the earthly relationships we commit ourselves to – our friendships, business partners, and certainly who we marry! In the 14^th-16^th chapters of Judges we find the account of Samson, a man holding a special position in God’s sight. His decision to marry Delilah teaches a valuable lesson for us all. A poor decision in who we marry may not bring initial heartache, but we’ll likely suffer troubles we could have otherwise avoided had we married someone faithful and devoted to the Lord.

In many ways, our relationships can make or break us in our Christian lives. We all make the decision in who we are going to allow access to our emotions, concerns, our dreams and goals. Not everyone deserves a ticket to our life, and we should be picky in who we allow to influence us.

The mother of a teenage girl became increasingly concerned about the friends she started seeing her daughter hang around with. More importantly than that, she and her husband were worried that instead of once influencing her friends for the better, she was being influenced by others for the worse. She didn’t immediately know how to bring up such a subject and knew her young and impressionable daughter wouldn’t like hearing anything she had to say about the changes evident to her and her father. So after sitting back week after week without saying a word, she finally decided on a strategy that would resonate with her daughter.

In the kitchen one afternoon the girl’s mother began filling three pots with water, and placed each on a high fire in front of her daughter. Soon the pots came to boil, and the mother threw a handful of carrots into the first pot, a few eggs into the second, and ground coffee beans into the last. She let them sit and boil, all without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners and first fished out the carrots, placing them in a bowl. Then she pulled the eggs out, placing them in a separate bowl, and finally ladled some of the coffee into a third.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘”Tell me what you see.” With a puzzled look, but sure of what she saw, the girl answered, “Carrots, eggs, and coffee.” Her mother then asked her daughter to feel the carrots. So she did, and noted that they were soft. Then the mother asked her daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled inside. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted the strong aroma and asked her mom, “What exactly does this all mean?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. But each item reacted in a different way. The carrot went in strong, firm, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique though. After they were in the same boiling water, they remained true to form, but in the process…had actually changed the water. Then the mother simply asked her daughter a question; “Which one are you”?

What affect do you have on the friends around you? Are you the one being changed and affected by who you associate with, or are you allowing others to dictate your life? Our relationships here on earth directly affect our life of service to God. We should choose our relationships wisely, always evaluating their influence on our lives and the people they lead us to become.

The book is entitled, “So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore.” It’s among a variety of religious books written without regard to God’s Word.

Visit any bookstore and you’ll find many books with titles and content designed to appeal to our religious nature, but also our carnal nature. Titles such as “The Shack” or “Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back” (a book that currently has over 1900 reviews at Amazon with an average rating of almost 5 stars, proof that people are clamoring for their own version of faithful service).

Never mind that Heb. 9:27 says, “And inasmuch as it is appointed unto men once to die, and after this cometh judgment;” People are often attracted to stories of people dying, seeing beyond death and returning to tell the tale. Read of the rich man in Luke 16:19-31.

“And in Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.” Do you ever wonder why people who claim to have died and seen beyond death never report of lifting their eyes in torment? It’s because people don’t believe in Hell, but they often do believe in Heaven. Besides, Abraham told the rich man that it wasn’t possible for him to return to earth to warn his brethren. It hardly seems fair to allow some to come back, but not the rich man. Of course, the fact is, nobody is allowed to come back after death because after death there is but one more step to be taken, judgment.

These works successfully accomplish at least three things:

a. They diminish God’s Word, His work in our salvation and His guidance in our lives by the Word.

b. They diminish the Church that Jesus purchased with His own blood.

c. They emphasize our importance, making us as gods, where we view God Jehovah as a being who is at our beck and call.

Eph. 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;”

Acts 28:20 ”Take heed unto yourselves, and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit hath made you bishops, to feed the church of the Lord which he purchased with his own blood.”

Some modern religious writers are contributing to the destruction of the institution purchased with the blood of Christ. The emphasis is unscripturally placed on the individual, his wants, his needs and his desires rather than on what God demands. God is not our genie, existing to fulfill our every carnal need. He is our God, driven by love to save us from our sins and driven by justice to punish unforgiven sin.

Be careful what you allow into your mind. Be careful what you read. The Word of God is our guide, pattern and source of faith…not cleverly titled books that pander to our carnal desire to avoid faithful service, or books that appeal to how we think things should be. God’s Word is sure.

Phil. 4:8 ”Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

A&E airs Intervention. It’s an Emmy Award winning series. The show’s website describes it like this…

Intervention™ is a powerful and gripping television series in which people confront their darkest demons and seek a route to redemption. The Intervention Television series profiles people whose dependencies on drugs and alcohol or other compulsive behavior has brought them to a point of personal crisis and estranged them from their friends and loved ones.

Very few shows reveal sinful behavior in the dark, depressing way that the producers of this show do. A single episode can send a surge of darkness through you as you watch how far people can slip. Lives wasted. Lives lost. I confess that I’m unable to watch it very often, but every time I do – I’m made to understand how Heaven may view our behavior, our choices and our conduct when we go against God. Alcohol, drugs and other abuses destroy people – and families. As we’re introduced to people we don’t know, and families we’ve never met, we can cry when we see a little boy cry over the sinful behavior of a wayward sister, or brother. Or a father.

2Pet. 2:22 “But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.”

He was a father of five. For decades he was what the therapist called, “a functioning alcoholic.” That is, he was able to hold down a job and fool most of the people most of the time. But he was a terrible husband and father. His drinking was taking a toll on his physical life. It had already wrecked his family. He was just too drunk to see it.

Intervention.

Dictionary.com defines it as “interposition or interference of one state in the affairs of another.” When it comes to personal intervention it’s far more personal. It’s highly personal. It’s an interference of the best kind (or worst, depending on your point of view).

“You’re not gonna tell me how to live,” says the rebellious child. Or the alcoholic father.

At his worst, any father’s fear is that his children will follow his bad example. We all mess up. We all make poor choices sometimes. And when we do, we sure don’t want people to do as we do – certainly not our kids. Sadly, the alcoholic father had raised a son who was just like him. Harry Chapin’s sad song – Cat’s In The Cradle – springs to mind.

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

This alcoholic father of five had lived the life of a functioning drunk. His son had grown up to be just like him. But now the son was in far worse physical shape than dad. Bleeding from the nose and stomach, the son was dying before their very eyes. Two men in one home. Ruled by drugs and alcohol. Hardly the party scene of fun and frivolity. No, it was a scene of a little boy – the youngest son – crying over the behavior of his dad and big brother. It was the scene of a crying wife and mother. A woman who had little hope of having a healthy husband and son. It was a story of wrecked lives. And a wrecked family.

James 1:12-16

“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

Do not err, my beloved brethren.”

During the pre-intervention interviews with the family the counselor asks, “What do you want to see happen?” In every case the answer is the same, “I want him to change.”

God looks at our lives and wants the same thing. He wants us to be better. To live righteously. To make changes. To live productive, profitable lives.

But somewhere along the way a life turns south toward selfishness. People make their own life the focal point of all that matters. The alcoholic dad isn’t thinking of his wife, or his kids. He’s thinking only of himself.

In every episode I’ve watched (and I’ve seen dozens through the years), the therapist always says the same thing to the family – “He’s thinking only of himself. He’s manipulating you. He’s unconcerned with the pain he’s causing you, or the family. Or even the pain he’s inflicting on himself.”

Sin’s bottom line is always the same – SELF.

Sin’s net result is always the same – spiritual and eternal death.

I sit quietly and watch this father express the fear. Fear that he’d raise a son who would behave just as he had behaved. Fear granted. The result achieved. He’s grown up just like dad. But worse.

I watched the father cry and during his own intervention – which obviously didn’t include the wayward son – agree to enter a rehab facility. He told his family he was sorry. He promised them he’d go for help. And still, he knew his family would never be whole as long as his son was lost to drugs and alcohol. He also knew he could not make the choices for his son. He could only hope for the best, but he clearly feared the worst.

And the son did not disappoint. He stormed out of the room, cussing all who were there, the moment he saw the family and knew what they were going to ask. The show ended with his refusal to accept their interference, even though it was interference driven by love, concern and care.

I watched a family’s heart break. As he walked out the door I saw them lose somebody they cared deeply about. It was tragic. Heart wrenching.

A self-centered young man walked down the sidewalk, still cursing his family, thinking only of himself. He left behind a family whose life was dramatically affected by his behavior. He didn’t care. They did.

Sin. It does horrible things to people. All people. Even you and me.

God is partial to nobody.

Rom. 2:11 “For there is no respect of persons with God.”

Sin isn’t partial either. Sin will bite and devour anybody. Sin will compel a man to be hateful toward a wife. It will compel him to violate the vows he made to her. It will offer him opportunities to grow increasingly more selfish as he fulfills the lusts in his life. It will compel him to pave the way toward Hell for his children. More often than not, they’ll follow him. Faithfully.

Sin brings on the greatest sorrow and dispair humans can know.

No life is so wrecked, no pain caused is so deep – that God cannot forgive. And save.

1Tim. 2:3-5

“For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;

Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus…”

Man. Woman. Boy. Girl.

We all need salvation from the sins that would rob us of our happiness here – but most importantly, rob us of our soul forever. Nothing is worth losing our soul. Nothing is worth destroying your life, your family or your soul. But daily people choose to serve themselves. They barter their soul for the cheapest, seediest things in life.

Matt. 16:26 “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”

A father’s fear, a family’s tragedy stems from a basic refusal to obey God.

Matt. 16:24 “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

Fear. Failure. Fatigue. Tragedy. Sorrow. These are just the tip of the iceberg of sin’s destructive power.

Joy. Peace. Care. Compassion. Support. These are just the tip of the iceberg of Christ’s power to save.

Like the subjects of Intervention, we decide. Others may urge us. They may show us their pain. They may show us the way with love and concern. Our selfishness and stubbornness may rule. Or we may decide submission is the path to redemption.

But we’ll decide. We’ll choose. For ourselves.

Submission is the answer. Surrender isn’t cowardly, but courageous. Fathers and families need the Lord. Mothers and daughters need the Lord. Little boys and little girls need the Lord. We all need the Lord.

Josh. 24:15 “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Today is known as Black Friday in the retail business. Most retailers will earn their annual profits in the next 5 weeks. Many enter this weekend in the red, but after this weekend they’ll enter the black.

News programs this morning are focused on shoppers who spent all night last night in line at major retail stores so they could take advantage of discounts that start today. At some stores the stampede was so fierce some shoppers were trampled when the doors opened at 5am. Reports of fist fights are rather common as shoppers protect their place in line. Theft is rampant at area malls as some prowl the parking lot for cars stuffed with holiday gift items. Everywhere you look there is the quest for stuff – stuff people want, but don’t yet have.

There’s nothing sinful about searching for a bargain. And it’s not sinful to shop, provided it doesn’t interfere with our service to God. Covetousness is sin. And there are other sins that tempt men during times like these. So, it seems fitting to spend just a few moments considering how God wants us to view this world and the stuff it offers.

1 John 2:15-17 “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.”

John 3:16 tells us that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. There is no contradiction between what we’re commanded to do in refraining to love the world and what God did when He loved the world. The world in John 3:16 are the people who inhabit the world. That’s what God loved. God’s interests were in seeing the people of the earth saved through obedience to Jesus Christ.

The world spoken of in 1 John 2 is the sphere of evil that men turn themselves over to. The love forbidden in 1 John 2 is a love of those things that serve self, those things that cause us to rebel against God.

Consider 3 verses in 1 John chapter 2.

In verses 12 – 14 the children, fathers and young men have been addressed. Each of these groups is commended for having good control in their respective circumstances. Even so, they are all in the world and subjected to the lures and temptations of Satan.

Now, the exhortation is to love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. The “world” that we’re commanded to not love is the sphere of evil that exists in this life. There is a universal pursuit in this life that is opposing God. We have to neglect loving that world. But we’re forbidden to love even the things in the world.

The story is told of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19. Here comes a young man to the Lord asking what he lacks in order to have eternal life. The Lord tells him to obey the commandments of the law. The young man responds by telling the Master that he’s does all that since he was a child.

Matthew 19:21 “Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.”

It would seem this young man was so sincere and dedicated that he’d have done whatever Jesus commanded, but this final admonition was too much. Here is what the scriptures say about his response to the Lord’s final admonition…

Matthew 19:22 “But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.”

Jesus goes on to teach the disciples some more about the wealth of this world and the dangers associated with them.

Matthew 19:23, 24 “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”

The young ruler would have surrendered to the Lord except for this one thing. He had something in this life that he cherished more than his obedience to God. This one thing was something of this world, not heaven. He put it before God.

We may lack “one thing.” It might not be money or wealth, but it might be love of pleasure. It might be love of ease. It might be obsession about our health (or our sickness). It might be the attraction of our house, or land or business. It might be a desire for fame or prominence or worldly honor. It might be career ambition. It might be family. There are many things of this world capable of drawing us away from God and the Truth of the Church.

Whatever stands between you and your pursuit of heaven is of this world. I’m reminded of people who make the claim that you can have it all. They’re liars. You cannot have it all. You cannot have everything this world affords and have heaven, too. I’ve known many people who have made sacrifices because they realized the truthfulness of that idea. Some have sacrificed athletic pursuits. Others have sacrificed academic pursuits, or career pursuits. A few have sacrificed family because they understood that it was NOT possible to please God and have something valuable in this world. Frequently we find ourselves forced to make a decision between something of this life and something spiritually pleasing to God.

Matthew 6:24 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

Each of us must decide what we’ll serve. We can only give allegiance to one master. So strong is the pull toward material or worldly possessions that the Lord talks about this in the very next verses in Matthew 6.

Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

The Lord knew the pull that this world would have on us. The shame is that too few understand the sin of falling in love with this world or the things of this world.

“If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

Loving the world and loving the Father are completely incompatible with one another. They can’t exist together in the same heart.

Romans 8:5-9 “For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.”

The phrase “do mind” means that these people deliberately focus their attention on things of the flesh. These people, perhaps us from time to time, devote themselves to those things that are solely devoted to THIS LIFE. Your career, your money, your hobbies, your family and even your health will not propel you into eternity with salvation in Jesus Christ. All these things may hold some importance in our lives, but they can hardly become our focus or concern to the exclusion of being what God wants us to be.

Carnally minded people are not necessarily evil, wicked people who do dastardly deeds. They might be Christians who have surrendered to the lusts found in this world. They might be people who have forgotten that they were purchased and purged from their sins. They might be people caught up in the game of advancing a career, building a portfolio of investments, or improving their physical health. They cannot please God by pursuing a life based in this world, according to Romans 8.

Another warning is found in the book of James.

James 4:4-8 “Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”

Spiritual adultery is what is talked about here. This adultery is one where a Christian is unfaithful to the Church. How does that happen? It happens everytime a saint falls in love with the world and denies the work needed by the bride of Christ, the CHURCH. In contrast to being unfaithful to the Lord we can submit to Him and resist the devil. Both require effort and work! I’m sure there’s a lesson there about our willingness to pay the price for faithfulness.

Another scripture points out the same lesson. 2 Corinthians 6:17, 18 “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”

It’s difficult for young and old alike to be separate. It’s hard to come out from among them, meaning from among the people of the world – the people we are constantly surrounded by. The Old Law had things that were considered unclean. They were specific things. Today, under the Christian law there are many things that can be considered unclean – anything that takes us away from faithful service to God. In and of themselves, they might be okay, but when they get in the way of our Christian service – they’re unclean!

1 John 2:16 “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”

God didn’t establish these things. The world created them and they are of this world. Three specific things are listed here: 1) the lust of the flesh, 2) the lust of the eyes and 3) the pride of life.

The lust of the flesh is the desire that exists in the minds of men to do evil. The term “flesh” here is the darkest sense of the word. It means the animal nature of man, the source of evil appetites. The lusts of the flesh are made manifest in the works of the flesh. Over in Galatians chapter 5 we have a catalog of these:

Galatians 5:19-21 “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

The lusts of the eyes provide the source for us to seek after things that distract us. We see what we long for. Living in a physical world that provides so many temptations, it’s easy to permit ourselves to focus on the things around us rather than on the spiritual things that can help us overcome temptation.

The pride of life encompasses the things that feed our selfish nature. Pride of life prevents men from serving anything or anyone other than their own desires and appetites.

People have long pointed out the temptation of Eve in the garden and the temptations of Jesus after the 40 day fast in the wilderness. It’s true that every temptation is encompassed in these three concepts. That makes it true that the temptations of Eve and our Savior contained these aspects.

Awareness is the first step toward improvement. It’s clear that God’s people have to get and maintain an awareness of these 3 aspects of temptation. If we don’t, we’ll surrender to them. But I fear there may be too many people who enjoy temptation. The lure of the temptation is strong and the resolve to avoid it too weak. For that reason, too many young people may put themselves into situations that cause temptation. For that reason, too many mature people may put themselves into situations that are tough to escape from.

Our failure to clearly understand these 3 aspects of temptation will cause us to be weaker than God wants us to be. We need a devotion to clear understanding. We need a devotion to draw nearer to God. We need a devotion to avoid EVERYTHING that would take us away from the Church.

1 John 2:17 “And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.”

The reason to avoid temptation is clearly stated here. The world, which may entice us to love it, will pass away. The lust, that we may enjoy for a season, will also pass away.

Hebrews 11:24-26 “By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.”

The ability to understand long-term versus short-term is a wonderful ability. It’s an ability that every Christian must possess. Moses had it. For that reason, he could make up his mind that he would not enjoy the pleasures of Egypt. Instead, he decided to be true to God and endure the hardships of the wilderness wanderings. Moses had respect for the eternal reward. He respected the reward that would come to faithfulness. Do we have that respect? Or do we respect the reward of this life and the things we can gain here?

Do we value the short-term pay offs in this life over the long-term eternal pay offs in the life to come?

He that “doeth” the will of the Father means the person who literally keeps on doing the will of the Father. It’s not enough to do the will of God one time. It’s not enough to obey the gospel, then slide back into sin. We have to devote ourselves to keeping the commandments of the gospel always.

In contrast to Moses we have another name revealed in the scripture, Demas.

2 Timothy 4:10 “For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia.”

We’re not certain what temptation snagged Demas, but suffice to say, the world snagged him. He loved the present world more than he loved the idea of reaching heaven. As a result, he forsook the apostle Paul and the work.

In contrast to not loving the world or the things in this world we’re commanded to love the Lord and one another.

Matthew 22:37 “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.”

Luke 10:27 “And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.”

Loving the Lord is more than lip service. It’s active, it’s determined and it’s intentional.
John 14:15 “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”

John 15:10 “If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.”

Our goal is to make heaven our home. That won’t happen if we view this world as our home. The word we constantly use is “pilgrim.” It fits. It’s a Bible term. I leave you with two verses.

Hebrews 11:13 “These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.”

1 Peter 2:11 “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;”

John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

It’s intolerant to recognize Christ as the only means by which we can access God, the Father. That Truth offends many Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and countless others who follow men, not Jesus Christ. They refuse to believe that Jesus is The Christ, the Son of God.

Nothing is sadder. Nothing brings more tears to the faithful than the realization that others refuse Christ. Why? Because it means without obedience to Christ, millions will be eternally lost.

Phil. 3:18 “(For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ:”

No man has access to God except through Christ. That certainly excludes millions of religious people who openly refuse to believe that Jesus is the Son of God. Without Christ there can be no salvation because without Christ we cannot have a relationship with God. So says Christ.

Not all religious paths lead toward God. Not all religious paths lead toward Heaven, where God lives. There is only one path to eternal salvation – and God. Sadly, Christ reveals that most will refuse to travel that path. And they’ll be lost.

Matt. 7:13, 14 “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”

According to 2007 statistics only 33% of the earth’s population even believe in Christ. Of that number, far fewer believe He is the living Son of God. Of that number, still fewer believe the New Testament established by His death on the cross is a pattern for our life. Of that number, even fewer believe that the Church you read about in the Bible still exists – and that our lives today can and should be lived based on what you read in the Bible. The fact is, most people who consider themselves “Christians” are not genuine because they do not obey the Gospel that Christ established. Namely, they refuse to obey Christ, which is what Christ Himself taught.

Matt. 6:24 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

Jesus said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)

According to Christ, NO MAN can have access to God except through Christ. Our Lord served God the Father, not the god of political correctness. Heaven continues to be at stake. That price is simply too high to ignore. We serve God by serving other people. We serve God by helping others learn of Christ. We serve God by urging others to believe in the Gospel Christ established. And when they refuse, like the Apostle Paul, we weep for their souls.

We don’t hate. We don’t spew vileness toward them. We don’t protest them. We uphold the Truth. We teach. We preach. Like God, we tolerate people to make foolish choices because all men do have the freedom to decide for themselves whom they’ll serve. Still we hope to persuade men to follow Christ because we know following Him is the only way to reach God and Heaven.

2Cor. 5:11 “Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men…”

Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Since the time man was created God has cared about marriage and the home. In Genesis 2:18 the Bible tells us when God looked at His creation he saw that it was not good for man to be alone and he created a “help meet” for him, the woman. Just a few verses later in the narrative God gives the first command on marriage that we have used as our text.

I think this story in the account of creation answers our question immediately.  Once God had created man and woman, Adam and Eve, he then brought them together and as Jesus stated in Matthew 19:4-5, And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Certainly God has shown from the beginning his concern for marriage and the home. Seeing that is the case, we will turn our attention today to Does God STILL Care Who We Marry?  To try to answer this question I want to look at what the Bible says about marriage in each dispensation of time, and then make some quick applications to us today. I would also direct you to Randy Cantrell’s article “Picking A Spouse” for more practical applications for the Christian.

Marriage in the Patriarchal Age

We have already noted Gods plan for marriage that first given in the Garden of Eden, and it doesn’t take long for us to read of another reference to marriage. In the 6^th chapter of Genesis the Bible tells us that the sons of God took wives of all which they chose (verse 2), and the result was, “that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually” (verse 5). This wickedness grieved God at his heart, and he repented of even creating man (verse 6), all because man had decided to go out and marry whom he would.  The response to this wickedness was the Genesis flood in which all of mankind except 8 souls (Noah and his family) was destroyed. Note in verse 9 of Genesis 6 that God says of Noah that he was, “perfect in his generations.” Albert Barnes says Noah was, “…distinguished from his contemporaries who were the offspring of promiscuous intermarriage between the godly and the ungodly.” God was certainly concerned about who His people married in the Patriarchal Age.

We continue to see this principle in Genesis 24:1-8 where Abraham made his servant swear to go to his own country to choose a wife for Isaac. We see it again in Genesis 28 when Isaac sent Jacob to his own people to find a wife.  The principle of God’s people marrying only God’s people, and to keep themselves pure from the rest of the world is evident in the Patriarchal Age.

Marriage in the Mosaic Dispensation

God’s command to His people under the Law of Moses about marriage is pretty plain.

Deuteronomy 7:3-6, Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. 4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly. 5 But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire. 6 For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth. (KJV)

God’s people were not to intermarry with the nations around them. The reason for this was two-fold. First, the children of Israel would be turned away from serving God. Second, and maybe more importantly, a pure bloodline had to be kept for the Messiah to come through.  According to Deuteronomy 18:18 the Messiah was to come through the children of Israel and so they had to remain a distinct or separate people.

Just a couple of other places where the teaching of the Mosaic Law on marriage can be found are Exodus 34:12-16, Joshua 23:11-13, Nehemiah 13:23-27, and Ezra Chapters 9 and 10.  Also for your reference we find specific teachings for priests and marriage in Leviticus 21:14 and Ezekiel 44:22.

Marriage in the New Testament Dispensation

I want to begin this section with a quick observation that was made by Wayne McKamie in a study on Modest Apparel several years ago.  Brother McKamie said, “I realize that what I quoted to you in Deuteronomy 22 —  that’s the Old Testament. But, I just want to raise this one question, as long as I can remember, we talk about the Patriarchal, the Mosaic, and the Christian age. Has God ever lowered a standard?  People, he has raised a lot of them!  But, has He ever decided that something that was an absolute disgust, highly detestable, then there would come an age in which that thing doesn’t make any difference to Him…  that it’s all right now?”  And that begins to answer our question today.  God has legislated who His people are to marry in the Patriarchal Age, and in the Mosaic Age, has he now lowered the standard to where it doesn’t make any difference in the Christian Age?

In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 we find this, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.(KJV)

R.C.H. Lenski says in his commentary on 2 Corinthians that this idea of being unequally yoked, “is conative in this connection: do not try, do not ever incline or begin to be so yoked up.” I think that it is plain that God does not want His children to even BEGIN this type of relationship. I think young people must carefully weigh this when they are considering their dating habits as well.  Do not even begin to be yoked in this way.

I want to touch on a couple of more passages very quickly. In 1 Corinthian 9:5 Paul writes, “Have we no right to lead about a wife that is a believer, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?”  In this passage Paul certainly limits himself to having a wife that is a believer.

In 1 Corinthians  7:39 Paul writes again, The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.(KJV)  The widow here was bound to be married only to a believer.

Conclusion

The matter seems plain to me. God has always cared who his people marry. So, from our study, who are God’s people to marry? In the Genesis 2 record we find that a man is to marry a woman. That would seem to be self evident, but in the time we live in today with Gay Marriage becoming more prevalent it must be discussed. In the record of Genesis 6, Deuteronomy 7 and 2 Corinthians 6 we find that God’s people are to marry God’s people.  The basis for this is twofold. First, so we will not be drawn away from God.  Second, so we will remain a separate and distinct people.

Peter wrote in 1 Peter 2:9, But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:(KJV)

We are a holy nation and a peculiar or “set apart” people today just as they were in old times.  I believe it is just as important for us to remain pure from the world as it was for the people of old, and we can more easily do so by following God’s plan for marriage and marry only in the Lord.

Yes, God cares very much who we fellowship. We are given very specific commandments and instructions regarding who we are not to have fellowship with. But the actions we are to take are passive. That is, we simply cease to have any relationship with Christians whom the Bible tells us we cannot fellowship. The Bible makes use of specific language to describe not having fellowship such as “mark” and “avoid”, “not keep company with”, “from such turn away”, “reject”, and “receive him not neither bid him God speed”. However, we are not to withdraw fellowship from a Christian for every sin. The situations and conditions for withdrawing fellowship are limited and specific.

Romans 16:17 states: “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned: and avoid them.” Clearly, we are to have no fellowship with those Christians who choose to teach and practice those things which are not found in the Bible or that are in direct conflict with the commandments and examples found in the Bible. We see this so clearly in regard to religious organizations that we consider being far off the mark. They may not believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. They may worship on a day other than the Lord’s Day. Or, they may have a hierarchy of leadership which cannot be found in the Bible. Of course we would have no fellowship with such individuals.

But what about members of the Lord’s Church who may have one cup with the fruit of the vine and one loaf of unleavened bread in communion and they have no Sunday School and no instrumental music? They may have these things but they have chosen to add things which the Bible does not authorize or they have changed things so that they are not teaching or following the commandments and examples as given in the Bible. Indeed, there are some members of the Lord’s Church who no longer even believe that the Bible is a pattern for living and worship. The answer is clear regarding doctrinal error. They are teaching and practicing things that are contrary to the doctrine and we are to mark and avoid them. In plain terms, we are to have no fellowship with them.

I Corinthians 5:9-13 lists a number of specific sins which, if a Christian commits and does not repent, confess and ask God’s forgiveness, we are not to have fellowship with them. Specifically, Paul lists the sins of fornication, idolatry, being a railer, being a drunkard, or being an extortioner. Paul commands us not to keep company with them and goes further to make it crystal clear that this even and especially includes not eating with them. What is the point here? It is simply to convey to that Christian that they are in error and sin and that we will have no relationship with them as long as they continue to practice such sin. Why is this so important? It is because this will hopefully lead the person to turn from that sin. It was effective with the man in I Corinthians 5 who had his father’s wife and he was restored to being a faithful Christian after he repented and abandoned this sin.

In I Timothy 6:3-5, Paul writes: “If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; he is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.” Here, again, is a clear commandment to withdraw or have no fellowship with anyone who teaches something other than what we find in the Bible and who will not comply with the doctrine that we do find in God’s Word. Paul lists all kinds of problems and trouble that comes from tolerating such false teaching. We must prevent this from happening. And the Bible way for preventing this is to have no fellowship and no relationship whatsoever with this erring Christian.

II Timothy 3:1-5 tells us: “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.” Here a very long list of behaviors is provided regarding Christians who are no longer faithful. We are to turn away from these erring Christians. Again, we are to have no fellowship or relationship with them. They may appear to be religious, but they have ceased to obey God and keep His commandments.

Titus 3:10-11 tells us: “A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject; knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself.” The first question to answer is “what is a heretick?” That person is simply one who does not conform to the doctrine of Christ and does not submit to the truth. We are certainly to try to reason with them. But there is a limit to this. Paul requires us to admonish them twice. After that, we are to have no fellowship with this heretick.

Finally, in II John 10, the Bible states: “If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: for he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.” First of all, what does it mean to bid someone God speed? It is simply wishing them good luck and success in whatever they do. Thus, if someone is teaching something that is contrary to the doctrine found in the Bible, we are not to invite them into our homes and we are not to wish them well. If we do, we are no better than they are. In fact, we would be partakers in the very sins that they are committing. The result is that we would be just as guilty as they are.

There is a clear pattern here in the things that require a Christian to withdraw fellowship from an erring Christian. First and foremost, those who practice or teach doctrinal error requires us to withdraw fellowship. Secondly, those who continue in the practice of certain sins require us to withdraw fellowship. Finally, those who cause divisions and strife in the Lord’s Church require us to withdraw fellowship.

The natural question is at what level is fellowship withdrawn? Clearly, fellowship is withdrawn at the individual level. That is, an individual faithful Christian withdraws fellowship from every individual Christian who is guilty of one or more of the specific sins listed which requires it.

The next question that many ask is about withdrawing fellowship from an entire congregation that is guilty of one or more sins listed in the scriptures above. That is, can one congregation withdraw fellowship from another congregation? First of all, no congregation has any authority over any other congregation. That is, we recognize the autonomy of each and every individual congregation. As such, the Bible is silent about one congregation withdrawing from another and thus no Bible pattern is provided. The result is that a faithful congregation does not withdraw from another congregation that is in doctrinal error.

But the question is really a moot point. The fact is, if every faithful Christian withdraws from every erring Christian who commits one or more of the sins that requires withdrawal of fellowship, then there is no need for any other action. God’s will has been accomplished. The fact that faithful Christians are all members of one particular congregation and the erring Christians are all members of another particular congregation is of minor consequence regarding withdrawing fellowship.

Further, if a member of an erring congregation left that congregation and repented, confessed their sin and asked God’s forgiveness and then joined themselves with a faithful congregation, no further action would be required for that Christian.

Conversely, if a faithful Christian decided to join themselves with a congregation of erring Christians and began to tolerate, teach and practice doctrinal error, then faithful Christians would, from that time forward, withdraw fellowship from that Christian who is now in error.

This Biblical approach and response to such sin and error would address the additional problem of erring Christians who go “church hopping” in hopes of finding another congregation that either does not know about their sin or is simply willing to tolerate such sin. If faithful individual Christians would consistently withdraw fellowship from such erring Christians throughout the brotherhood, then Biblical discipline would be appropriately and correctly meted out. Then, our desire and prayer would be for each erring Christian to see their sin and other faithful Christians’ response to that sin in the withdrawal of fellowship. Then they will realize that what they are doing is not acceptable and that the Lord’s Church will not condone nor tolerate their sin. Thus, by their rejection by faithful Christians, the erring Christian can reflect upon their sin and, hopefully, repent, confess and ask God’s forgiveness and then be restored. This is God’s pattern for withdrawing fellowship.

John 15:7 “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatsoever ye will, and it shall be done unto you.”

A parent in New York whose child is missing in the Haiti disaster said this on the Today Show Monday morning, “We need people to get there and we need them to get there fast. Time is working against us,” Crispinelli said. “We’re U.S. citizens. We achieve miracles. We need a miracle now and we need it today.”

One Chinese news publication wrote this, “Though five days have passed since the massive earthquake in Haiti, it seems miracles do happen as international rescue teams continue to pull people alive from the rubble.”

A European news agency wrote this short story…

Thank you Jesus, thank you, is a prayer of thanks and hope uttered from a woman rescued from the rubble in Haiti.

It is a prayer of thanks, a sign of hope. So too was the rescue of a nine year old, Olon Remi from the ruins of her home.

From the remains of a luxury hotel in Haiti’s capital rescue workers toiled in hope. From the wreckage they pulled the co-owner out alive, she had spent more than a hundred hours buried under the wreckage. The relief, the thanks from those watching was spontaneous as clapping burst out.

From under a collapsed university building a 29-year-old woman who had survived since the quake struck was saved. It took 30 hours to rescue her.

Survivors gathered in small groups across the capital on Sunday to pray and give thanks. Their churches have been destroyed but not their faith.

The congregations were scattered, gathering where they could, many of them homeless. As they worshipped in their own way the rescue mission continues. 43 international teams have so far pulled 70 people alive from the rubble. Everyone is united in hope that the miraculous stories will continue and the number saved will rise.

It doesn’t matter if a person is religious or not – lots of folks are looking for miracles.

From Joel Osteen to the late Oral Roberts, countless denominational preachers have urged their audiences to “Expect a miracle today.”

Men entertain a number of different ideas about how God works today.

Some people believe in God in the sense that they think there is a god or some higher power responsible for creation in some way. But, they don’t believe in a higher power when it comes to authority in their lives. Nor do they think this higher power intervenes in any way in the affairs of this world. For instance, these people don’t believe in the Bible view of creation, but they may believe that a higher power used evolution to create the world. The notion of atonement, or even the need for it, isn’t something they believe or profess.

This belief is wrong on many fronts, but basically it’s false because it contradicts the Word of God. Of course, it makes no sense on quite a few other issues. For example, why would God create the world, and then be “hands off” on all the affairs of this world? This belief also denies the love and care of God toward mankind.

From that viewpoint we go to another one that is almost extreme in the opposite direction – namely, the belief that almost everything is a miracle from God. Pentecostalism and other false doctrines that are akin to it take the position that every favorable result is a miracle. If somebody recovers from an illness, it’s a miracle. If somebody finds a good job, it’s a miracle. If the bills can somehow be paid this month, it’s a miracle.

More and more this is the prevailing view among religious people who profess Christianity. But these people completely overlook the facts of why God used miracles in the past. They fail to recognize the purpose of miracles in Old Testament or first century apostolic times.

In the Genesis record we see the miracle of creation. From that moment forward miracles were part of the revelation of God. God made his redemptive plans known by way of miracles. Since God’s Word is now revealed in its completeness, the need for miracles has ended. When you examine God’s miracles recorded in the scripture you clearly see they were intended to produce faith. But here’s what God’s Word says is true today.

John 20:30, 31 “Many other signs therefore did Jesus in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book: but these are written, that ye may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye may have life in his name.”

Rom. 10:17 “So belief cometh of hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.”

Today, the scriptures produce faith. These people openly deny God’s Word by their false belief that miracles happen today. In fact, many people claim their faith because of the miracles they claim that have happened in their life. That’s not the only thing they deny though. They also deny the very methods of miracles in the past. Without an apostle laying hands on you, bestowing the miraculous gifts of the Holy Spirit, you couldn’t perform miracles.

According to Acts 8 that’s exactly what Simon the magician knew and understood. That’s why he offered the apostles money. He wanted that power.

Some of the people of the charismatic movement may acknowledge that men can’t perform miracles, but they cling to the belief that God performs miracles today. But, again, they deny the scriptures.

1Cor. 13:8-13 “Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall be done away; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall be done away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when that which is perfect is come, that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child: now that I am become a man, I have put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known. But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”

Eph. 4:8-16 “Wherefore he saith, When he ascended on high, he led captivity captive, And gave gifts unto men. Now this, He ascended, what is it but that he also descended into the lower parts of the earth? He that descended is the same also that ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things. And he gave some to be apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, unto the work of ministering, unto the building up of the body of Christ: till we all attain unto the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a fullgrown man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: that we may be no longer children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, in craftiness, after the wiles of error; but speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, even Christ; from whom all the body fitly framed and knit together through that which every joint supplieth, according to the working in due measure of each several part, maketh the increase of the body unto the building up of itself in love.”

The Biblical perspective of how God works in the world today is to recognize that He operates providentially through natural laws. God brings about spiritual results through His spiritual laws revealed in His Word. He uses natural laws to accomplish his will in this world.

Our world is preserved because God put into motion the natural laws that govern earth. God designed our world. He created the natural order of how things work. That’s certainly not in keeping with those who declare that God has no part in what happens in this life. And it contrasts those who claim that everything is a miracle from God.

Now the question that most often comes up is this, “Then does God hear prayer – and answer prayer?” We’ll let the Bible speak.

John 15:7 “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatsoever ye will, and it shall be done unto you.”

James 5:16 “Confess therefore your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The supplication of a righteous man availeth much in its working.”

1Pet. 3:12 “For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, And his ears unto their supplication: But the face of the Lord is upon them that do evil.”

1John 5:14, 15 “And this is the boldness which we have toward him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us: and if we know that he heareth us whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions which we have asked of him.”

Now, before folks can go off on a half-baked idea that whatever we pray for will be given to us by God it’s important to point out just two proofs that this isn’t the meaning.

One, Paul prayed that his thorn in the flesh would be taken away. Three times he prayed, each time praying that God’s Will be done. God did NOT give Paul what he wanted and Paul readily accepted.

Two, Christ prayed in the Garden that the cup might pass from Him. The cup He referred to was that He would have to be separated from God for the first and only time. Never before had Christ experienced separation from God, but for 3 hours the earth was dark as God turned His back on His Only Son. It was the bitterest cup of all. THAT was the cup Christ wanted removed. And as worthy as that prayer was, Christ prayed that God’s Will be done, not His own! There was no way for mankind to be redeemed except for Christ bearing the sins of mankind. By doing that, it was necessary that God look away!

Our prayers are answered today providentially. God hears us. He answers us. But in all prayers, God’s Will trumps our own. James instructs us how we ought to pray.

James 4:13-15 “Come now, ye that say, To-day or to-morrow we will go into this city, and spend a year there, and trade, and get gain: whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. What is your life? For ye are a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall both live, and do this or that.”

There are some important factors that we need to realize when it comes to God’s providence.

We need to always remember that God doesn’t providentially behave in any way that contradicts His natural law or His revealed Will in the scriptures. He’s holy and righteous so all of His actions are consistent that His character. One illustration of this is the fact that God doesn’t tempt man.

James 1:13, 14 “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God; for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempteth no man: but each man is tempted, when he is drawn away by his own lust, and enticed.”

Based on this passage we can’t conclude that God ever causes men to do something sinful. Now consider this verse…

Rom. 9:17 “For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, For this very purpose did I raise thee up, that I might show in thee my power, and that my name might be published abroad in all the earth.”

God “raised up Pharaoh” has to mean that God didn’t raise him up so he could sin. God raised him up for the exact reasons stated – so God’s power could be demonstrated and so God’s name might be broadcast through all the earth. Pharaoh was his own man. God simply used Pharaoh’s character and behavior to serve His divine purposes.

The providential working of God is always in cooperation with what God’s Word reveals. Perhaps the most important example of this is how the scriptures instruct men to be saved. That means God doesn’t providentially provide men some other method where they can be saved. There’s only one way to be saved and that’s how God has shown us in His Word. God won’t override what He has revealed.

Another important fact about providence is that God’s providence never overrides the free will of men. In spite of what Calvin believed and taught, God gives men the power of choice. We’re not so depraved that God has taken that from us.

Matt. 23:37 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, that killeth the prophets, and stoneth them that are sent unto her! how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”

John 5:39, 40 “Ye search the scriptures, because ye think that in them ye have eternal life; and these are they which bear witness of me; and ye will not come to me, that ye may have life.”

Rev. 22:17 “And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And he that heareth, let him say, Come. And he that is athirst, let him come: he that will, let him take the water of life freely.”

God doesn’t coerce men to do anything, but He can and does use people to accomplish His Will. You see it throughout scripture. For instance, the Chaldeans were a violent people. They were nasty and mean, intent on conquering people and places that didn’t belong to them. God used them to punish His own people. God didn’t make the Chaldeans nasty, but He did allow their nastiness to serve His purposes.

Pharaoh was another example. The Bible tells us that Pharaoh hardened his heart. God didn’t harden it. Pharaoh did that to himself. God used Pharaoh’s rebellious and hard heart to display His power and blessings for the Hebrews.

We can’t get caught up in the notion that God directs men outside of their own free will. He does not. He does use men for His divine purposes. He’ll use evil men or good men. Men decide their character and behavior. God providentially uses men as it suits His divine Will.

There is a distinction between providential and miraculous. A miracle is where God works on a level that is above natural law. Providence is when God uses natural law for His purposes. In a miracle, the Lord works directly. In providence, God works indirectly.

Mary conceived a child having never experienced sex. According to the scriptures she was a virgin. This was a fulfillment of prophecy. It was a miracle. It was supernatural. It was a direct operation of God in her life. Contrast that with the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel chapter 1. She was barren, but she prayed to the Lord that she might have a son. She promised to give him to God, if God would allow her to conceive. According to the scriptures, she and her husband were intimate – the Old Testament terminology says her husband “knew her” – and she became pregnant. A son was born, but it was not a miracle. It was providence though because God used the natural laws of human reproduction to answer her prayer, and Samuel was born.

Another example contrasting miraculous with providential is found in the story of Hezekiah in Isaiah chapter 36. The king of Assyria came against all the fortified cities of Judah and conquered them. Hezekiah was imprisoned and sought God for deliverance. Through the prophet Isaiah God promised to deal with the situation. Here’s what happened…

In a single night, the messenger of Jehovah went out and killed a hundred and fourscore and five thousand in the camp of the Assyrians. When the men arose early in the morning they saw all the dead bodies – so says Isaiah 37:36. It was miraculous.

Sennacherib, the pagan king who had overthrown the cities of Judah, went back home. God made a proclamation that this king would go home and “I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land.” And so it happened. The king went home and while he was worshipping his false god, his sons killed him with a sword. That was providence.

Over in Matthew chapter 8 we see Christ and His disciples caught in a bad storm on the Sea of Galilee. Scripture says the Lord “rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.” Christ controlled the weather miraculously.

Centuries earlier Israel suffered a drought for three and a half years. God caused that drought. Elijah prayed for rain and God sent rain. How? First, a small cloud appeared over the Mediterranean Sea. It was off in the distance and appeared to be the size of a man’s hand. The skies grew darker and darker. The winds kicked up and before long there was a great rain. Guess what? That’s how rain always came to the land of Palestine. God was providentially directing the rain. That rain occurred through natural laws brought about by God’s Will, and the result of Elijah’s prayer.

Remember, in providence God works indirectly – behind the scenes. Here’s an interesting truth about providence. We know God works by providence, as we’ve proven with just a few Bible illustrations. But, when it comes to providence we’re not able to point to some specific event or circumstance and confidently affirm that it’s God’s work. The fact is there’s no way to know. People have subjective feelings about it, but we can’t base things on how we feel about something. That’s never been an acceptable standard, or an authority for our lives.

In other words, people might say, “I know this is God’s providence.” But there’s absolutely no possible to know. It may be God’s providence at work. It may not be. It’s like prayer. We’re confident that God hears our prayers and that He’ll answer our prayers. The scriptures tell us so. But subjective declarations that specific events or circumstances are the result of prayer don’t prove anything.

Yes, God works in the lives of people, sometimes even when we’re unaware of it. According to 2 Cor 5:7 we walk by faith, not by sight. We can’t prove any of these things because providence is God working indirectly, behind the scenes. God’s providence works in cooperation with the natural laws that God Himself established. In spite of 2 Cor. 5:7 it’s interesting how many religious people want to walk based on something they can see, or feel.

There are quite a few incredible stories where we see God’s providence  – and we’re able to see them because the scriptures reveal them. For instance, consider the story of Joseph and his brothers. God used Joseph to preserve the Hebrews. Were any of these people aware of what God was doing through providence? It wouldn’t seem so. Joseph certainly knew nothing of it when he was younger and being mistreated by his brothers. We can look back and see it though.

Perhaps the most famous story of providence is the story of Esther. That famous verse in Esther 4:14 is well-known by most Christians, “who knoweth whether thou art not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Mordecai asked that question of Esther.

In Philemon, a book we’re fixing to study in our chapter studies, Onesimus was a runaway slave. He had made his way to Rome when he came in contact with the apostle Paul who converted him to the Truth. At some point, Paul sends him home and urges Philemon, his master, to receive him as a brother. Paul makes a statement in verse 15, “For perhaps he was therefore parted from thee for a season, that thou shouldest have him forever…”

Paul saw the possibility that God’s providence may have been at work in the life of Onesmimus. He ran away an unbeliever. He returned as a Christian brother.

The Bible reveals some facts about the scope of God’s providence. The Hebrew writer declares that the Savior is “upholding all things by the word of his power” (Heb 1:3). That simply means God is operating the entire universe under the direction of the natural laws that He established.

God controls all the forces of nature in exactly the same way. According to the Genesis record God maintains the seasons. He covers the heavens with clouds, prepares rain for the earth and makes grass grow on the mountains. None of that is miraculous, but it’s all based on God’s natural laws. In the same way He controls the stars and planets. Weather and all the other forces of nature are not miraculous, but providential.

God influences the animal kingdom in the same manner. According to Christ in the Sermon on the Mount, God cares for the animals that don’t sow or reap or gather into barns. We see God using providence when Abraham was offering Isaac. You remember that ram caught in the thicket? Nothing miraculous about that, but God provided that ram through providence.

According to scripture God sets up rulers and takes them down – again, all done providentially by God. It’s just one reason why Christians should not vote. We’ve no way to know what God’s plan might be to work providentially in this world. Additionally, Christians aren’t to be encumbered with worries of the affairs of this world, but providence is chief among the reasons why Christians are not involved in the political affairs of this world – no matter where we live, or what government rules over us.

Do Christians have some special provision provided by God’s providence? I believe the scriptures prove we do. According to Matthew 5:45 God sends rain on the just and unjust. The book of Job proves that material gain isn’t an accurate measurement of our fidelity to God. But the gospel does give us proof that God cares for His children providentially.

We can’t read the story of the early disciples without seeing God’s hand at work providentially. It was true with the great apostle Paul. Over in Acts 20 Paul was on his 3^rd missionary journey. In Romans he mentioned that continually he made requests of God that he might be blessed to visit the brethren at Rome. Near the end of the letter he urges the brethren to join together with him in that prayer. We find Paul returning to Jerusalem where he’s arrested in Acts 21. In the night God tells him that he must bear witness in Rome. God’s visit was miraculous, but Paul going to Rome wasn’t. It was providential.

To save him from the Jewish mob, the Roman leaders took Paul to Caesarea by night and he’s put into prison for 2 years. Finally, Paul exercises his Roman citizenship and appeals to Caesar. It’s now early autumn in the year 60. He’s put on a ship to Rome. Enroute he’s shipwrecked and everybody is fearful that they’ll die. In the night an angel appears to Paul and makes this promise, “thou must stand before Caesar.” The following spring Paul and his company arrive in Rome – prayers from earlier years finally answered.

To me one of the most powerful illustrations of God’s providence is found at the cross. Christ prayed, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Christ wasn’t praying for miraculous forgiveness. There was no miraculous forgiveness. But at Pentecost these people Christ prayed for were indeed given the opportunity for redemption and forgiveness. Peter preached the Gospel story and thousands obeyed. It was God’s providential answer to the prayer of His Son – many who stood at the foot of the cross were indeed forgiven!

1Cor. 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as man can bear: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation make also the way of escape, that ye may be able to endure it.”

Such passages encourage us, but we need to understand that nothing miraculous is at work here. There is simply no way to fully know or understand all the ways that God’s providence helps us.

Just this week I’ve heard one businessperson declare how God had laid something on his heart. Another person seeking a job declared how God had “told” her a specific direction to take. And of course, whenever disasters like the earthquake in Haiti happen, we hear story after story of what men call “miracles.” I also heard one man who declares to be a Christian question why God allowed this earthquake to happen. Such declarations prove that most people have no concept of how God works in the world today.

It’s urgent that every Christian properly understands that God does not work using miracles today. It’s not that He can’t. It’s that He won’t. There is no need. The Word is fully revealed, so the purpose of miracles is now no longer needed. God won’t employ them again.

But when God built the world He incorporated natural laws. He now does His work by means of these natural laws. When it comes to mankind, God doesn’t compel or coerce men to behave in certain ways. He will use the behaviors of men – the behaviors they choose for themselves – to help fulfill His own purposes.

Pray to God always. When we’re fearful for our health, we pray. Pray before the doctor renders a diagnosis. We never know what providential work might be the answer to the prayers of the faithful.

When we’re sorrowful because we’ve lost somebody we love, pray for comfort. How are Christians comforted? Men often pray that God will comfort those who sorrow “as only You can.” How does that happen? By God’s Word. By God’s promise of a life after this one. And we pray that God’s providence might work to help us through our sorrows and problems. There’s no miraculous comforting happening.

I’ll leave you with two things about God’s providence.

- It should compel us to pray more.
- It should also compel us to thank God more.

This article was adapted from a sermon delivered at Fossil Creek on Wednesday night, January 20, 2010.

Recent conversations with people about dating and the prospects of marriage have made me give greater thought to the challenge facing God’s young people. Some members of the Lord’s Church in another state recently talked about their worries that so many young people in the Church seem to be dating non-Christians. A young man admitted his difficulties in finding a girl who shares his convictions based on the Gospel. A young woman talked of her desires to find a young man desirous of being a strong Christian.

Our future as God’s people hinges on the ability of one generation to pass along to the younger generation the wisdom necessary to make one of life’s most important decisions – the decision of who we will marry. Brother Gay wrote a wonderful series of articles back in the 1940′s. We still refer young people to his words almost half a century later. Click here to read his articles on building a Christian home.

Young people may confuse the interest of older folks with interference. Often the conversation between older Christians turns toward a concern for the younger Christians. That’s only appropriate given the responsibility of the older to pass along the heritage of godly service.

Few conversations stir more concern among older saints. Frustration is easy when talking to a young person about their choice of boyfriend or girlfriend, especially when the selection has been made for all the wrong reasons. Chemistry and good feeling too often overcome good sense and scriptural-based judgment. Although talking to kids about who they date and who they’ll end up marrying may be like talking to a wall, parents and older Christians can’t hesitate to issue a few warnings about what is really required to create a Bible-based family life.

Ephesians 6:1-4 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.”

All happily married Christian couples can attest to the change and growth necessary to build a strong Christian home. They can also verify the need to make the selection of a spouse carefully and prayerfully.

We urge young people to come up for air, free yourselves from one another’s embrace and look beyond the physical attraction so you can more carefully examine your future.

First, pick a spouse who respects God’s Word.

Even babes in Christ understand that God’s ways and the ways of the world are always in conflict. God insists that we live by His principles of righteousness. Scriptures show us that the world lives by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. We’re to avoid those things and shun them.

1 John 2:15, 16 “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the vain glory of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”

People who aren’t devoted to God freely devote themselves to the pleasures of the world. God’s people have a different devotion.

Many heartaches are caused when a Christian marries an unbeliever. Without a unified purpose for building a home and marriage, chaos often erupts. Moral issues arise because the unbeliever isn’t bridled by the Word of God. But it goes deeper. The coupling of a Christian to an unbeliever disrupts God given roles in the home. The duties of each member of a home, if not sanctioned by God, often become unclear and worldly. For instance, what godly woman seeking to be the keeper at home God wants could make a happy home with an ungodly man who pressures her to leave the home and earn money?

Sadly, this problem isn’t limited to unbelievers. Young people must be mindful that some of God’s people lack the proper respect for God’s Word. Dating another Christian isn’t the only requirement for seeking a fitting spouse. Find a boy or girl who demonstrates the proper respect for God’s Word by obeying it – not arguing against it.

Two, select a spouse who has spiritual values and goals.

You must first have spiritual values and goals. If your life lacks the spiritual focus it must have, first take care of yourself. You can hardly recognize what you need in a spouse if you are not what you should be. Are your goals focused on entertainment, fun and pleasure? Then fix your own life by getting focused on those things that are eternal.

Sadly, I see too many young people in the Church who are interested in nothing other than a good time. As they grow older they sometimes lament how difficult it is to find somebody to date who is spiritually compatible. Well, they’ve not put themselves in a position to attract the right boy or girl. They’ve been acting as though Church and serving God were less important than being popular, having fun and enjoying entertainment. You reap what you sow. Take care of business in your own life, then you may find it easier to seek out the person who will serve as a faithful spouse capable of helping you reach heaven.

Values must be directed by God. The goal must be heaven. If the person you date has different values and different goals – STOP! Don’t continue to put yourself at risk.

You must not con yourself into thinking that good qualities will suffice. Righteous living is not merely being good morally. There are many good people who are not Christians. Date people who are devoted to the Lord and the Church. Being a good person isn’t the same as being a righteous person.

Ask yourself, “Am I made a better Christian by this person? Will this person help me live closer to the Lord and the Church?”

Three, find someone willing to make corrections.

Nobody is perfect. We’re all a work in progress. However, some problems are larger than others. It’s foolish to think that after marriage problems will be fixed, if they’re not fixed before marriage. Too often we’ve seen somebody, usually an unbelieving boy, attend church services faithfully while dating a Christian girl. After marriage, his attendance stops. Don’t bank on changes happening after marriage. If his attendance was merely a front so you’d date him, then you should realize that your relationship is equally shallow.

Drinking, gambling, hanging out at all hours and countless other poor behaviors won’t be fixed by marriage. Neither will hot tempers, unkindness, being argumentative, lying and other traits.

Search for a person of Christian character willing to fix those things that are wrong in their life. If they’re unwilling to listen to God’s Word (disrespect the Word of God) and put their life in compliance with what God wants – STOP!

Four, pick a spouse who is mature.

Marriage isn’t for kids. That’s one reason why more than half of all teenage marriages end in divorce. Maturity is a requirement for the establishment of a Christian home.

Age won’t guarantee maturity. Maturity is something you can gain by working at it. Behave with maturity and you may become mature. Put away childish behaviors. Grow up. Don’t just grow older. Be sober (that means, be serious).

Be mature yourself. Being irresponsible and selfish are not qualities fit for marriage. If you are self-centered and immature, then you’ve got some work to do in your own life. It’s likely that your behavior fosters dating people who share your immaturity and self-centeredness. You have little hope of building a relationship that will lead to the establishment of a Christian home.

There is no single secret to having a successful marriage, but one indispensable ingredient is unselfishness. Behave selfishly during dating and you’re not likely to behave any differently after marriage. Don’t fool yourself thinking the selfish person you date will stop being selfish when you marry.

Again, look in the mirror. What are your displays of maturity? You can hardly expect to attract a mature person if you’re not mature yourself.

Some signs that you’re immature:

- You think mainly of what you want. You are self-centered.
- You have little awareness of how you affect others.
Sometimes you just don’t care.
- Your life centers around having fun and being entertained.*
- You’re not terribly comfortable being by yourself.
Partying and hanging with others consumes most of your time.
- You stay up late as often as possible.
- You sleep late as often as possible.
- You have little structure and discipline in your life.
And you really don’t want any.
- Your life has little direction and little purpose.
- You don’t regularly read or study the Bible.
- You don’t regularly pray.
- You don’t regularly consider spiritual things.
- You don’t seek the wisdom of others.
It’s easier to just follow your own desires.

*Just snoop around at the blogs of many young people in the Church and perhaps like me, you’ll be surprised at how going to the movies is widespread among a generation that has never heard how the “old-timers” were warned of them based on the Gospel’s demand for purity in our lives. It’s difficult enough to guard your heart in today’s world without purposefully subjecting yourself to temptations. And don’t argue that you only go to PG or PG13 movies. I know better because I’ve read blog after blog of young people who regularly attend R rated movies. Besides, since when do God’s people go by the standards of a Hollywood movie group who establish those ratings? Spiritual maturity has little chance with behavior that feeds on the world.

By the way, watching filth on your own TV at home (via DVD’s) is no better. Both are sinful. Neither demonstrate a devotion to guarding your heart! Brethren, somewhere along the way we did a horrible disservice to our kids by failing to show them how important and powerful it is to guard the heart! We stopped preaching it. We stopped warning people. As a result, too many Christians have joined the world in thinking it’s foolish to guard your heart.

“It doesn’t affect me,” they often say. That amounts to calling God a liar. Please consider that the next time you watch some profane filled thing or listen to some profanity laced song. By subjecting your heart to that type of entertainment you display disregard for God’s Word. You show your spiritual immaturity – the belief that it will not harm you. Immature people can be fearless to the point of neglecting their own safety. It’s true physically. It’s equally true spiritually.

Attractive, isn’t it? No, of course not. It’s quite pathetic, but unfortunately it is the picture of so many lives. Young and old alike are plagued too often by self-centered behaviors that are anything, but mature. We see it at work, at school and at church.

Immaturity is rampant even though the Gospel demands that we live sober lives. Remember, it’s a command – not a suggestion. As people grow up, they must become mature. That requires mature behavior. It’s a choice. It requires young people begin to behave like adults. It requires responsible conduct. Consider some important verses found in Titus.

Titus 2:1-15 “But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again; Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things. For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.”

Be mature. Be sober. Look for a mate who is, too. Physically, emotionally and most of all spiritually.

Five, pick a spouse who can communicate.

Relationships are impossible where there is poor, little or no communication. Problems go unsolved if a couple cannot clearly communicate with one another. Thoughtful dialogue can help build a relationship. Monologues aren’t profitable.

If you find yourself dating somebody who is unable to express themselves to you, STOP! You’ll never build the relationship necessary to establish a Christian home. If you find yourself dating somebody with whom you’re unable or unwilling to have serious dialogue, STOP!

Talking and listening are both necessary qualities for making a relationship grow. By the way, yelling and arguing are not quality forms of communication. If your communication consists of lots of arguing, STOP! Find somebody else to date.

Six, look beyond physical attraction or physical qualities.

People date specific people for lots of reasons – most of them physical. And I mean more than beauty or good looks. Personality, being fun, being popular and scores of other attributes are part of physical attraction. These are the most shallow attractions.

I’ve known young men who dated girls because they knew lots of other young men were attracted to them. After all, it’s quite satisfying to be dating the girl who is the envy of all the other guys. Ridiculous? Sure, but it happens.

I’ve known young men who lamented at the dimwittedness of a good-looking girl they dated, but they wouldn’t stop dating her because she was so attractive. I’ve known young men who dated a girl because she was always so much fun. Or because she enjoyed the same entertainment, the same music and so on. None of these things are sufficient foundations for a Christian marriage. In fact, they’re not even suitable foundations for dating!

The object of dating is to build a mature relationship. While there is no denying that couples need to find one another attractive, it is hardly the stuff of which strong Christians home are built.

Proverbs 31:30 “Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; But a woman that feareth Jehovah, she shall be praised.”

Seven, pick a spouse who will be a good friend, your best friend.

A man’s best friend should be his wife. A wife’s best friend should be her husband.

Too many young people are involved in relationships where they argue, fuss and fight. They’re foolish enough to think the relationship might have a future. Well, they’re right, but the future is going to be the ruination of them both if they don’t stop and move on.

It’s one thing to enjoy somebody’s company. It’s another to find them a person with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and cares.

It’s one thing to find somebody attractive – even kissable. It’s another to find them a person with whom you can improve your Christian life.

Life is routine. Do you find this person your best friend during the most routine times of your life? Make certain that the boy or girl you date are friends, good friends.

Friends help us become better. They benefit us and we benefit them. They seek our welfare in the Church. We seek their spiritual welfare, too. Friends work to strengthen one another.

Does that describe the relationship you are in? If not, it’s time to move on.

Lastly, pick a spouse who believes marriage is for life.

What God joins together can’t be put asunder by man. “Til death do us part,” is not just a phrase uttered by couples madly in love. Those are vows made before God, ordained by His Will.

Problems will arise. You can’t just walk away. That’s what dating is for. That’s why the advice to STOP is given to dating couples who find themselves battling issues that are harmful for them both. Once you are married, there is no stopping. You are in it for life.

The walking away needs to happen while you are dating. It’s not an option in marriage.

Permit a brief comment about intimacy. STOP. Fornication is a sin. Intimacy outside of the marriage union is forbidden by God.

1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

Know the difference between sex and love. Society bombards all of us with images of sex. While intimacy can be an expression of love, it is restricted between a husband and his wife. TV and the media do us all a disservice by putting sex in front of us. You must take pride in your virtue. You must behave while you date.

Love is mandatory in marriage. Intimacy is not the only expression of love in marriage. Young people must guard their hearts by restricting their passions.

Ephesians 5:25-33 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; because we are members of his body. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband.”

As a dating person, behave yourself with all the godly qualities befitting a potentially good spouse. Make sure you possess these positive qualities first. It will make attracting the right prospective spouse that much easier.

Devote yourself to:

- respecting God’s Word
- having spiritual values and goals
- having a willingness to correct the poor behavior in your own life
- maturity and sober thinking in the Lord
- being a good listener and good communicator
- offering more than physical attraction to others
- being a good friend
- the firm conviction that marriage is one man with one woman for life

Doing that will provide you with a superior opportunity of attracting the right Christian person to become your mate.

Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength to overcome the temptations that come with being young. Read and study your Bible. Talk with your Christian parents about your problems and concerns. Lean on others in the Church. Guard your heart by protecting yourself from watching things, hearing things and experiencing things that would harm your soul.

Date only in the Lord. And when it comes to choosing a spouse, be picky – even in the Lord. Select a person who can and will help you reach heaven. Your entire future depends on the choice you will make!